Vegane Lippen muss man küssen (können) – Vegane Lippenpflege und Lippenstifte, Review

Vegan-sein ist nicht schwer. Das ist mein Statement nach mehr als 6 veganen Jahren. *

Essen kochen, Essen gehen, Essen kaufen – alles kein Problem für mich. Ja, wir Menschen sind Gewohnheitstiere, und nach einem so langen Zeitraum muss ich dabei nicht zweimal nachdenken.

Wo ich aber manchmal mit mir hadere, stundenlang nach veganen Produkten suche und dann oft unzufrieden und frustriert aufgebe, das ist beim veganen Make-Up bzw. Beauty-Produkten.

Hier also ein absoluter Girlie-Post zu meiner odyssee-esken Suche nach veganen Lippenpflegestiften, die auch optisch was her machen.

Being vegan is not hard. This is my statement after more than 6 years of being vegan. *

Cooking food, eating out or buying groceries – not a problem at all for me. Us people are all about habits, and after such a long period of time I don’t ever have to think twice in these situations.

However, I do struggle with finding makeup and beauty-products in general that are vegan and and often find myself rather frustrated. 

Therefore, here’s an absolutely girlie-post on finding vegan lipsticks and lipcare-products that also look pretty.

*Wenn ihr zu diesem Thema lieber ein Video hättet, hinterlasst mir einen Kommentar!

*If you’d prefer a video on this topic, leave me a comment!

Eigentlich hätte es ein schöner Shopping-Trip werden sollen: ich hatte zum Geburtstag Gutscheine für ein großes Einkaufszentrum bekommen und wollte mir einen schönen, getönten Lippenpflegestift kaufen. Also ab in den DM und losgestöbert!

Schön soll er sein, meine geschundenen, trockenen Lippen wieder weich zaubern und ja – vegan soll er auch sein. Nach einer Stunde habe ich aufgegeben. JEDER Lippenpflegestift im Geschäft, der einigermaßen was hermacht (auch die von Alverde und Lavera), enthielt Bienenwachs. Also nicht vegan. Schön blöd.

Kurz hab ich überlegt, ob ich die Zutat “Bienenwachs” nicht einfach ignoriere… aber nein, in meinem Kopf hat die kleine Stimme nicht aufgehört “Heuchlerin” zu flüstern. Leise, aber durchaus penetrant.

Sehr frustriert und grantig habe ich dann noch ein paar andere Geschäfte im Einkaufszentrum durchforstet, jedoch ohne Erfolg. Mein Freund hat sich bei meiner Heimkunft bestimmt über meine sonnige Laune gefreut! (Achtung, Sarkasmus!)

It was supposed to be a nice shopping-trip. I got vouchers for a shoppingmall and all was set to get a nice, toned lipbalm. So I started to storm our local DM and started looking!

It should look nice, make my extremely chapped lips smooth again and yes -it should be vegan! After about 1 hour I gave up. Every single lipbalm in the store, that looked remotely wearable, contained beeswax – so, not vegan. Even the ones from Alverde and Lavera. SO not cool.

For a minute I thought about ignoring the little ingredient “beeswax” and buy the non-vegan products anyway… but that little voice inside my head didn’t stop whispering “hypocrite” – low, but quite persistent.

Very much frustrated and annoyed I searched a couple of other stores in the mall for a vegan lipbalm, but no luck. I’m sure my boyfriend was so happy to have me come back in a sunny mood like the one I had when returning home (caution, sarcasm!).

Nach eine kurzen Cool-Off-Periode habe ich beschlossen, dass ich so sicher nicht aufgebe. Nicht mit mir, meine Lieben, ich finde einen hübschen veganen Lippenstift!

Mir blieb also nur eines: Online-Shopping. Ganz gefährlich, ich empfehle einen engen Kreditkartenrahmen.

After a short cool-off-period I decided not to give up like that. Not this girl, people, I will find that pretty, vegan lipbalm!

I was left with only one option: online-shopping. Verrrry dangerous business, I’m telling you. I recommend lowering your creditcard-limit. 

Im Online-Shop von Ecco Verde wurde ich schließlich fündig und habe drauf losbestellt. Die Ergebnisse meines Kaufrausches seht ihr nun hier.

I finally got lucky with the online shop Ecco Verde and started ordering like a crazy person. So, I now proudly present the results of my shopping-splurge.

Mein Packerl von Ecco Verde

Packerl-Bekommen ist doch wie Weihnachten. Folgendes habe ich bestellt:

Getting packages always feels like christmas. Here’s what I got:

• Lavera BEAUTY & CARE Nude Lippenbalsam (kein Link, da er anscheinend ausverkauft ist. No link, because it seems to be out of stock)
• Hurraw Bio-Lippenpflegestift – Cinnamon
• Hurraw Bio-Lippenpflegestift – Vanilla Bean
• Everyday Minerals Tinted Lip Balm – Blissful (Soft Pink)

Außerdem, obwohl keine Lippenprodukte (die Onlinekaufsucht hat zugeschlagen!):

I also got a couple of non-lip-related products (blame the online shopping addiction!):

• Lavender + Sage Deodorant – ich liebe dieses Deo und verwende kein anderes mehr. Falls es hier Interesse an einem Review gibt, gebt mir in einem Kommentar Bescheid! I love this deodorant and use nothing else. If you’re interested in a review on that, leave me a comment1
• Bergamot + Lime Deodorant Travel Size – zum Testen für meine Mama. For my mom to try.
• Cedarwood + Juniper Deodorant Travel Size – zum Testen für meinen Freund. for my boyfriend to try.

Um nun einen schönen, echten und ungeschminkten (pun intended) Review zu schreiben, bekommt ihr hier ein unbearbeitetes Bild meiner Lippen, einmal ohne alles:

To give you a real review I give you an unedited picture of my lips without product:

Meine nackten, geschundenen Lippen

Ich glaube, nun ist klar, warum ich dringend eine Lippenpflege brauche, oder? 😉

Auch alle Fotos mit den neuen Pflegeprodukten sind unbearbeitet, damit dieser Review möglichst echt und hilfreich ist.

By now it’s gotta be pretty much clear that I’m in desperate need for some lip care, right? 😉

All other, following pictures are also unedited, so you get a review that’s as true and helpful as possible.

Lavera BEAUTY & CARE Nude Lippenbalsam

Nude wollte ich sowieso immer mal ausprobieren, das Ding war im Abverkauf und vollkommen vegan. Also los.

Always wanted to try the nude-thing, this one was on sale and 100 % vegan. So, go!

Lavera Beauty & Care – Nude

Kostenpunkt: 1,74 Euro im Abverkauf bei  Ecco Verde.

Geruch: Kann etwas seidig riechen? So würde ich es beschreiben.

Gefühl: Sehr “schminkig”. Man fühlt eindeutig, was auf den Lippen zu haben.

Price: 1,74 Euro on sale on Ecco Verde.

Smell: Can something smell silky? That’s how I’d describe it.

Feeling: Kind of make-up-y. You definitely feel that there’s something on your lips.

Close Up – Lavera

Fazit: Mir ist er fast zu Glitzer, ich hätte wohl auf das Wort “Matt” achten sollen. Trotzdem, wenn man wenig aufträgt, doch sehr alltagstauglich. Wäre vielleicht nicht meine erste Wahl, aber trotzdem nicht schlecht zu haben! 🙂

Overall: It’s almost too sparkly for my tastes, I probably should have looked for the word “matte”. Still, if you apply only a little bit it’s ok for a cute day-look. Not my first choice, probably, but still good to have around! 🙂

Hurraw! Tinted Cinnamon Lip Balm

Hurraw! Tinted Cinnamon Lip Balm

Kostenpunkt: 5,99 Euro bei Ecco Verde.

Geruch: Ich LIEBE Zimt. Also musste der einfach sein. Ich hatte vor ein paar Jahren aus der selben Serie den Stift namens “Chai Latte” (ich liebe auch Chai Latte), was mir aber auf den Lippen irgendwie zu penetrant und intensiv war. Dieser hier passt mir aber sehr gut, er ist viel dezenter und bereits alltagserprobt.

Gefühl: Super weich, leicht und unaufdringlich.

Price: 5,99 Euro on Ecco Verde.

Smell: I worship cinnamon. I had to get this one. A couple of years ago I had another lip bald from this collection called “Chai Latte” (I also love Chai Latte), which was a little bit much for having it on my lips. But this one is really nice and subtle and I wore it on several occasions already.

Feeling: Really smooth, light and subtle.

Fazit: Glücksgriff, würde ich auf jeden Fall empfehlen. Sehr angenehm, wirklich pflegend und ein ganz leichter Rot-Anstrich ohne Glitzer.

Overall: I got lucky and would definitively recommend it. Really pleasant feeling, does smooth the lips and dips them a nice, subtle shade of red.

Hurraw! Vanilla Bean Lip Balm

Hurraw! Vanilla Bean Lip Balm

Kostenpunkt: 5,99 Euro bei Ecco Verde.

Geruch: Ja, ich liebe auch Vanille. Vanille & Zimt – himmlisch! Der Geruch ist auch in dieser Variante schön dezent und angenehm für das Näschen.

Gefühl: Wie sein Bruder: Super weich, leicht und unaufdringlich.

Price: 5,99 Euro on Ecco Verde.

Smell: Yes, I also adore vanilla. Vanilla and cinnamon – a dream come true! The smell of this one is also really subtle and pleasant.

Feeling: Just like his brother: Really smooth, light and subtle.

Fazit: Auch diesen Kollegen kann ich empfehlen! Farblich noch dezenter als ‘Cinnamon’ und wieder ohne Schnickschnack. ❤

Overall: Also a clear recommendation! Color-wise its even more subtle than ‘Cinnamon’ and comes without any bling-bling. ❤

Everyday Minerals Tinted Lipbalm – Blissful (Soft Pink)

Everyday Minerals Blissful Tinted Lip Balm

Kostenpunkt: 8,99 Euro bei Ecco Verde.

Geruch: Sehr fruchtig!

Gefühl: Samtig aber etwas “schminkiger” als die von Hurraw.

Price: 8,99 Euro on Ecco Verde.

Smell: Very fruity!

Feeling: Very velvety but more “make-up-y” than those from Hurraw.

Fazit: Wenn’s mal etwas mehr Glamour und trotzdem kein klassischer Lippenstift sein soll, immer her damit! Sehr schöner Farbton, fast schon metallisch.

Overall: Perfects for the occasions that require a little more glamour without being over the top. A very pretty shade, almost metallic. 

Soviel also zu meiner Ausbeute!

Habt ihr andere, tolle vegane Lippenprodukte, die ihr empfehlen könnt? Immer her damit und rein in die Kommentare!

Ich freu’ mich.

Bis zum nächsten Kaufrausch,

eure S.

That’s it with my lip-haul! 

Do you use any other, great vegan lip products, that you can recommend? Leave them in the comments! I’d love to get your opinion and your personal favourites.

So long,

yours, S.

*Alle Fotos wurden von mir mit der Olympus OMD EM10 MarkII aufgenommen. Dieser Beitrag wurde nicht gesponsert, er enthält lediglich meine eigene Meinung. All pictures captured with the Olympus OMD EM10 MarkII. This post was not sponsored, it displays solely my own opinion.

 

The Quiet Vegan

You know how vegans are always thought to be excessively talking about themselves being vegans. Looking at other, non-vegan people with disgust, accusative stares or, the slightly milder version, pity in their eyes.

Vegans are those people who just have to tell you how unhealthy or barbarian your daily choices and eating habits are, they somehow never fail to magically create occasions to talk about how veganism is superior and the one right thing, no matter what.

I’ve been vegan for about 5 years now and I’m not one of them.

The way I see it, in every “evolution” of any vegan person there’s that phase where you start digging into information about veganism. There’s the health perspective, the environmental perspective and, of course, the ethical/moral perspective. On each of those perspectives there are loads of information available and in this specific phase the person will really soak up any info he/she can get. One new bit of knowledge leads you to further research and the more you read up and inform yourself, the more grounded your decision of being vegan gets. That phase of self-information is crucial for becoming a long-term, happy vegan and everyone who sees veganism as more than just a fad will experience and live through it.

As vital and eye-opening that phase massive info-haul is, it also comes with consequences. Some typical “symptoms” are:

• Sadness

(“How can it be that other beings are being treated the way they are?” You can literally feel every crushed animal – this can become so dramatic that you are close to being seriously depressed.)

• Anger

(“How can it be possible that you did not know about this so far? How come this crucial information has been kept from you over all these years? How can media, lobbies and the government plainly LIE about all these things – up to the point that Children love to go to McD and order a “Happy Meal”? And how can it be that that “Happy Meal” consists of the screaming token of desperation and death?”)

• Confusion & Regret

(“Why wasn’t I told that before? What else is a lie? How could I not have known or suspected this? Was I just too lazy, ignorant and egoistic to notice? How could I hurt all these beings for all these years?”)

• Urge to talk about your new knowledge

As you’re informing yourself about all reasons for becoming vegan and you live through these first 3 symptoms, your urge to talk about your learnings, feelings and thoughts grows stronger. This is only natural and in fact healthy, since not talking about it would probably leave you alone in your room, crying and hating the world.

If you’re lucky to have people around you who you can talk about this stuff and you are additionally gifted with just the right amount of social intelligence and sensibility, you are going to do just fine with this “symptom”.

If you’re, on the contrary, lacking one or both of these circumstances it could get, well… messy.

You might stumble into some serious arguments, hurt and be hurt by your “folks” and, as a bonus, leave people thinking all vegans are the intolerant, judgmental assholes I partly described at the beginning of this post.

I believe, in order to have a healthy development as a vegan, that the “talking about it all the time”-symptom is naturally bound to diminish at some point. After some time you are going to find it easier to live vegan, you’re gonna have replaced your old habits with new ones and it’s not gonna be all “new” anymore. You won’t have to think about every item you buy anymore and you’ll know by hard which options on your favorite restaurant’s menu are vegan. You’re just gonna get USED to living this way – and that’s GOOD!

Somewhere around at this point I hope you are gonna have come to peace with the fact that not everyone on this planet is living vegan. Heck, not even everyone you know is. Most likely, even your best friends, family and partner are far from it. And that’s still hard, I know. BUT, over time you’ll be able to somehow live with that, too.

You’re not gonna have to scream “THIS IS MURDER!” in their faces, everytime your friends eat a Salami-Pizza or drink coffee with cow-milk. You’re not gonna start crying everytime your boyfriend bakes some eggs.

This doesn’t mean you stopped caring. I think this change is very important. You’d go crazy if you wouldn’t, somehow, come to terms with your non-vegan environment.

Would I wish that all my colleagues ordered vegan food with me instead of eating gross meaty-takeout every day at work? Yes.

Would I be glad if my family started to integrate vegan food into their weekly-lunch plans? Of course.

Would I be happy if my boyfriend would ditch that omelet? Absolutely.

But would it help if I told them, every damn time? Unfortunately, I think not.

I don’t know if this, my approach is the right approach. I’m just trying to not go crazy, to not be a constant pain in the ass no one wants to have around but to live by being a non-intrusive example. Over time, this is the only approach that has brought me some real results.

Yes, you may ask me about my thoughts on all things vegan, but only if it’s not in the “I-wanna-pick-a-fight”- kinda tone. I will calmly talk about my personal opinions and views, and I will do my best to try not to attack or “judge” you.

I believe that people who know me appreciate this about me, BUT there are certain situations that really push me.

Work-colleague tells me he’s eaten something vegan and it tasted actually good. Other co-worker talks about how environmentally-awesome he’s planning to eat next Friday while biting into his Leberkäs-Semmel (disgusting Austrian meat derivative in a bun). Great, I nod and smile. You want applause? Go get it somewhere else, please.

Person tells me that actually, not buying food seasonally is just as bad as eating meat. Wow, glad you figured that out, but maybe you wanna start dealing with your own stuff and improving there first?

“Friend” tells me that he exclusively eats Bio-meat, and just very little of that in fact, when I saw him eat a “Schnitzelsemmel” from a discounter the week before. Would be a nice step if you actually stuck with that, but pleeeeease, just stop talking to me already.

You see, I am really trying here. To be nice and not intolerant and not judgy – but please, stop pushing me or I’ll become exactly that vegan you don’t want me to be!

P.s.: Oh, and – SURPRISE – I don’t want every conversation to somehow circle back to me being vegan. I am actually interested in other topics, too. I do have a life. Being vegan is not the only thing that defines me, so please don’t reduce me to that. Thanks!

“Trust the timing of your life”

I guess that mantra leads to calmness and therefore a happy being. That mantra says it all. That mantra is so hard.

 

Or at least for me it is.

You know, even though I’m quite the creative girl I really do love having a plan. Creating a roadmap and sticking to it. Writing a list in pretty typo. Following through my clever steps one after another. Doing that tick gives me a kick, y’a know what I’m saying? 😉

All in all, I really like having a plan. Yes, as pathetic as it may be, it comforts me. I like feeling safe – does that make me weak? Does it make me un-fun? I truly don’t know. Does it make me unhappy? In the long run, paired with my natural stubbornness and ambition, it sure does. 

Up to this point of my life I had it all figured out. Yes, all in rough sketches, but I had that. But from december on there is a total blank. New land. Exciting! So why the heck am I most of the time only afraid? 

I have absolutely zero clue on what I’m gonna do for a living, where I’m gonna live and where the road will lead me. Man, I think what I’m most afraid of is if I can be sure that there even IS a road?!

 

My already prolonged internship will be over in december and my study-plans didn’t work out (yay waiting list!). My apartment-deal will probably be over and I simply don’t know what I’m gonna do with my life for the rest of my life (I know that sounds oh-so-dramatic, but I’m being honest here!)

I’m really trying to trust though. To trust that there is a path laid out for me, that opportunities will present themselves and that I won’t be too stupid to realise and take them. I’m trying to be less afraid that I’ll mess things up. I really fight to be fearless and just live by the breath. I want to live for the sake of living. I want to be able to earn enough to have a life where I can spend time with my people and not have to worry about the rent and food not being paid. I want a job where I don’t just do my duty but thrive. I want my work to be challenging and I want it to mean something.

 

But most of all I just wanna stop worrying so much and live right now. I want to trust the timing of my life. I want to appreciate what I have and who I know right now. I don’t wanna let it all pass me by while being anxious about the future. 

 

I have to trust that I am getting there. Not the “Wow, she really achieved something”-there, but that state of mind. I wanna stop defining myself by counting my failures against my scores. I want to just be. And I am! I think I am.

Btw, my anxiety/heartrace-attacks have completely stopped. I work fewer hours now and my work environment changed a bit – I actually like being at work and am happy there. I am completely different at work than I was a couple of months ago.

 

I started working out in a fitness-studio for real (couldn’t afford the yoga cuz of the fewer hours aka money) and am now training 3-4 times a week. I love realising how my strength and endurance is improving. I love the way it makes my head feel. I like feeling connected to my body, not only imprisoned by my own mind. 

 

So here’s to living. Here’s to finding where you need to be is exactly where you are. Here’s to trusting that you’ll never get lost. Here’s to giving yourself the benefit of the doubt. Here’s to trusting the timing of your life!

 

Namasté,

S.

 

i need more yoga in my life

or at least that’s what i figure. amongst other things, yoga is something i definitely red to integrate in my daily life. a lot has happened this year.

i moved to Vienna, into my very first own apartment. it’s beautiful and the best place a girl could wish for.

i started a full-time internship. the team is really nice and it’s interesting and challenging.

i wrote my second and therefore last bachelor paper. i handed it in and received an A from my, very very nice & supportive, supervisor.

i found the master-programme i want to study and applied. they invited me to an interview and are now considering all applicants.

i got asked to prolong the internship for another half year, which is great on several aspects.

i’m earning more money than ever before and, for the first time in my life, am able to save a proportion of my income.

sounds all good, doesn’t it?   i don’t fully understand yet, but somehow, something still isn’t right. maybe it’s inside me, but something is definitely getting to me, manifesting itself in 2 totally unpredictable, spontaneous attacks of sudden heart race within the past week. i am 21 years old, leading a healthy, vegan lifestyle and would describe myself as genuinely blessed. however, it happened. both times caught me completely off guard and made me panic. i felt horrible and had never experienced my heart doubling its speed without any obvious reason. after talking to my mum, who’s a nurse, and her calming me down, i was still afraid to stay alone in my apartment and go to sleep alone there. maybe it sounds stupid, but i was terrified that something was gonna happen to me at night and nobody would even notice or get me help. moreover, i was freaking out since i hab been convinced to do everything right in terms of “healthy living”. so what the heck was happening to me??! it got me thinking. you see, my mind can be a dangerous bitch. one thing i learned within the past few months of full time working in a basically “open office”, is that i’m a text-book introvert. i get my energy of being alone and get exhausted from being in constant company of other people. it isn’t that i’m anti-social or “hate people”, i just feel empty and kind of drained after being with the same group of colleagues for 8 hours a day without any time alone. yes, it is weird (sind apparently i’m the only person ticking this way in my office), but i believe this is simply my nature. i, for example, also need to get out in my lunch break and just walk around a bit, alone, to clear my head and relax a bit. so, that’s the one thing. on the other hand, i kinda suffer from being alone at my apartment all the time i’m not working. yes, after coming home i enjoy alone-time to re-charge. BUT then again, getting up, coming home and going to sleep all alone all the time seems to also be not balanced at all. here, the part about my brain sometimes being a bitch kicks in: being alone with my head often leads to worrying or just numbness. which can seriously drive me crazy at times.

*going to first ever bikram yoga class right now*

oh. my. GOD! just came back from my first BIKRAM yoga class. i knew it would be hot, but this was just INCREDIBLE!! i just came back, straight into the shower although i was already completely wet, now lying down in my bed with the laptop, typing this. uhm…wow. you know, normally i don’t sweat like…ever. i’m usually quite cold, especially my feet and hands. i thought “okay, i might sweat a little” but i was completely covered in it after just a couple of minutes!!!!!

*inhales water*

tbh, in the middle of the class i though i’d never do this kinda yoga again but now i feel reborn. wow. and tired, but in a good way, not in the usual crappy way of always feeling drained. ok, maybe i should continue with the story bout my heart. so, the heart racing attack repeated itself later that week when i was chilling at my boyfriend’s sofa with him & his family. i was very worried but after a couple of minutes it slowed down again and since i wasn’t alone (it was weekend) i didn’t freak as much as the first time. however, last night, alone in the apartment, i startet to feel stings in the heart region. being completely honest, although it kinda embarrasses me, i panicked – big time. i was so afraid and just couldn’t get myself to calm down. so, i called my mum again and asked her to come and get me. she, thank god, started driving immediately and picked me up about 40 minutes later. i cried during the entire car ride. all the emotions i tried so hard to hold back in my daily life collapsed onto me and sucked me down, down, down. i was sobbing like a 3 year old and it was really hard to stop. i don’t even know what exactly is stressing me so much – if it is my new work situation, almost having no time left, being alone so much, worrying about the future or whatever. but it was awful and i felt really horrible. when we arrived in my hometown (where my parents & boyfriend live), we drove straight to the hospital to check me out. i just needed to know if my body wasn’t ok or not. and i couldn’t wait any day longer and have me worry even more. so they did a full checkup, and after some waiting the doctor told me everything was normal and there wasn’t anything wrong with me, anatomically. i was a little relieved, but not entirely. what the heck was going on then? i seriously felt like i had gone mental. i was really quiet and felt empty for the rest of the night and i slept like a baby, drifting off next to my boyfriend like i haven’t in years. this morning, i still felt kinda weird. i had informed my boss the night before and he was so nice to excuse me for today, so i could visit another doctor in order to do a 24-h-EKG (which was what the hospital doctor said to do). so this doctor referred me to another doctor who i will call tomorrow, but told me not to worry. he was really really nice and finally managed to calm my mind down more (much needed).

*insert sleeping like a baby again, getting my work day over with, coming home, showering, writing a motivational quote on a newly bought blackboard and hanging it up, cooking and eating a massive amount of vegan half veggie-risotto, talking to the bf and watching gossip girl*

  i’m just realising how weird this post must read, but as you see i needed time to progress and write. i woke up really positive today, but in the middle of my workday i felt the sadness, frustration, emptiness and perspectivelessness come creeping in again. an AWFUL feeling. i can’t really say what exactly it is, but somehow i guess it’s work-related. weird thing is, my team is really nice and everyone’s so happy (or seems to be?), but something seems to keep pulling me down there. i called my bf in my lunch break, who kinda also isn’t on top off his game atm. he seemed so distant within the last days and somehow, which normally happens automatically, failed to calm me down and make me feel home. i’m not saying it’s his fault – not. at. all. which made me feel even weirder, even more misplaced. when i was talking to him on the phone today, it still felt that way- not comfortable. i figured, that maybe i’m pulling him down with me. he’s got a lot going on right now and me being somehow close to depressed and sick was probably not helping..so now i felt even worse and guilty on top of that. enter the downwind spiral. luckily, while we were talking i felt the situation was changing. he was becoming my safe place again, being fully present and there. i told him, briefly but very honestly, about my feelings and fears which had been collapsing over me, even the ones related to me making him feel bad. he was back. talking like my person, lifting some of the heavy weight off my shoulders. we discussed what i could do to find out what was dragging me down and how to fight it off. since it had been confirmed that, anatomically speaking, i am healthy (still gonna do that 24h-EKG asap, though), i will be trying to fight off those fears. more and more i realised and could also speak out loudly that i seem to be psychologically messed up a little bit. i also told him that i’m embarrassed by this possibility. i mean, come on, i’ve only been working 4 months up until now – and i’m too weak to take that?! he told me that, just like people have allergies or asthma, others might get psychological issues due to external factors not even aware of. moreover, depression comes from chemical  processes out of the person’s control. he told me again and again that this wasn’t a flaw and i wouldn’t be a failure or mentally weak – even if it would eventually turn out that i am suffering from severe depression. my lunch break was almost over at that time, and i was def. not looking forward to working another 3 and a half hours. i was very relieved i had my bf back and thankful for him being so supportive, still dreading going back into the office. totally unexpected, the working afternoon was better than anticipated. i had gained back some strength to make it through the next hours, although feeling still weak on the inside and out. i suppose, i also felt kinda weak, physically, due to the exhaustion caused by the hot yoga the night before, but i can’t say for sure. finally, my working shift ended and i – for the first time in a long period – didn’t feel completely awful!! this realisation led to a massive stream of positivity flowing through my entire being, and i feel as if i’m still floating on it now. what.a.feeling! 🙂

anyways, as this post got long and quite confusing already, i’m off to enjoy me not feeling terrible and getting a good night’s rest. i so hope it will continue to go up again and that i’ll manage to battle the negativity one day after the other. i’ll go to yoga-class tomorrow at 11am and really look forward to seeing my bf tomorrow night. he just said he’s feeling better too and is also able to look forward to it. that god!

a good – or better- day was much needed.

wishing everyone the best,

yours,

s.

p.s.: i’m guessing that my physical not-well-being is either psychosomatic or due to generally quite low bloodpressure (i have a history of fainting). to be continued.

“a hero 

is an ordinary individual

who finds the strength

to perserve and endure

in spite of 

overwhelming obstacles”

- Christopher Reeves

feel the rush?

Now this is a nice morning, for a change! It’s official holiday, so i have neither classes nor work which I’m soooooo glad about;) Yes, i allowed myself to sleep in today, but only because I’ve been up until 3AM last night, doing stuff for the uni. however, having a nice, relaxed morning is really important for me in terms of happiness & keeping a calm mind. chai-coffee in bed is a nice way to wake up when my boyfriend’s not around!

 

 this is the best vegan chai-matcha blend i know! as those following me on Instagram already know, I’ve found this on Naschmarkt in Vienna, a place everybody should check out because it is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.!!!

Yes, so I enjoyed my morning dirty chai already (chai with a little soymilk and an espresso shot! try it!) and am now listening to the latest Jimmy Eat World Album while allowing me the time to write this post..I really should do uni work instead of blogging but I just make an exception in order to prevent me from going crazy;)

I’ve really got an awful lot on my plate right now...besides the bachelor paper which I should be done with in one week’s time, the professors are loading more and more work onto us, squeezing everything possible in..here’s  what i have to do for only in the NEXT week! u understand why i need to prevent going crazy?;)

deliverables within next week only..

in-between that, there’s working at the library, attending classes and taking care of the future in terms of the internship and my upcoming move to Vienna! lots of document-stuff to be taken care of, but the new apartment is my number one daydream right now! 🙂

last week, I’ve been to Vienna twice: Once, to check out the apartment and the second time to sign my working-contract for the internship. I lost a lot of time with these things, but it was absolutely worth it!

oh my god, the apartment is like a dream coming true! it’s a old building in an awesome district of Vienna with a vegan shop opening just around the corner! the location is to die for, and so is the flat itself. I can’t stop thinking about how to decorate it and am just sooooooo excited!

this is the building my future-flat is in. gorgeous!

the apartment is sooooo close to Naschmarkt, it’s unbelievable!

i seriously can’t wait to move to beautiful Vienna! 🙂

so you get an impression form Naschmarkt! 😉 HEAVEN!

it’s only 2 months until i’m moving and i’m sure time will fly by. especially, since i’m covered in stuff to do for the uni!

 

 

 

 

classes accompanied by my cute apple-earaser;)

bachelor paper in progress…

the maximum word count for the paper is 8,000 words. funny thing is, i’m struggling with not writing too much rather than having enough! there’s just so much I want to say, content wise. hard to make it make sense with this limited word count. but it’s doable, with a s**t-load of effort put in!

this week, i’ve been working in the library 3x. on top of all the other stuff, that is 😉

i’ve been getting up EARLY in for my two Vienna days..getting to Vienna from my current home does take some time..ugh. glad to move there in order to sleep longer 😉

in terms of healthy vegan stuff, Vienna is a paradise indeed. this is the “Popeye” smoothie I had after my appointments in Vienna which I got from a fabulous Juice Bar!

 

somehow, I feel I’m really growing up right now. You know, a proper full time job, my own place in another city, my Bachelor degree coming closer and closer..weird but I can’t complain!;)

still, what is really important to me is quality time with my boyfriend, family and friends. and my lovely Mindy!:)

my beautiful hometown. oh, I love fall!

here comes proof that although I’m officially 21 now, I still kinda look like 15..^^

One more thing: I got myself a REAL blender, finally!! 

Always wanted one and now with the b-day money…:D

it’s from Amazon, a Russell Hobbs mixer for only 33 Euros. Tried it today and it’s so great! that baby really got power!

this will look so nice in my new flat!;)

4 Bananas and some filtered water…

banana massacre! 😉

oh yeeeeees….

soooo creamy..banana-dreams come true! 😉

I realize that this post was not very organized in terms of content..but hey, it’s just some insights into my life right now! and yes, I do feel the rush. but for today, i kinda enjoy it. along with my fabulous nana-smoothie!! 🙂

have a great day,

S.

21

hello blogosphere!

it’s been a while (again), but here I am!

i won’t even start to apologise for not being here lately..there’s just too much stuff on my plate like…all.the.time!

i’m talking bachelor thesis in progress (gotta hand it in on November 1!! ), project work for every freaking class every freaking day and besides that a lot of organizing and document-stuff to get ready for my internship in January. yup, you read that correctly- i got a great internship! i’m soooo happy and relieved about it and very excited for that new chapter! the internship is in Vienna, meaning that with the dive into the real working world also comes a change of location: i’m moving to Vienna! oh me oh my…you can imagine my excitement-level!

i got incredibly lucky with finding an apartment that is awesome, both location- and expense-wise! my dad actually found the place and next saturday i will see it for the first time- but if it has the “Dad-Approved“-stamp I’m definitely good to go! 😀

so yeah, you see there’s not too much time for doing anything besides going to uni, working in the library, working on my paper and on project-work but I gotta say, I’m still so very happy these times.

and guess what…my 21st birthday was yesterday!

it’s funny how you don’t get that excited anymore with every new birthday…life and stress kinda gets in the way and i seriously felt as if i simply don’t have TIME for birthday at the moment!

year after year that special feeling you got as a child right before each bday fades a little more…but can we accept it all becomes less magical, less special?

I, for one, still believe we need bdays (and christmas etc) to be extraordinary, in the sense of having a break of our odd every-day chores and the dull-ness that sometimes goes with that. I’m not saying I need an enormous party or hundreds of presents, that’s not the point. I believe we should simply make these special days awesome by focusing on ENJOYING our lives and appreciating what we have!

and oh god, I am so blessed. I have an amazing family (even two, counting my bf’s family in!), the most wonderful, caring, loving and committed boyfriend, incredible friends I can always count on and an adorable little doggy. I am just so thankful and happy from the bottom of my heart!

yesterday was the most wonderful day and eventually, it really was special, extraordinary and yes, I would call it magical!

I spent the day with all the people I love and who love me and really felt how blessed I actually am!

 

today, however, it’s time to get back into working  – but you know what?

as much as it sucks to know hard work is on the to-do-list again, my heart feels still so warm. I know, I know..sounds so cheesy. but heck, I couldn’t care less!;) I loved this birthday and I love my life and all the people I can live it with, and I guess I just needed to write down how grateful I am for that.

so, don’t let life get you down and value these rare, special days. don’t let age take the magic away – cuz you know, that magic we felt as children is still there! we just need to look for it a little harder than before, but it’s there and maybe even more beautiful than it was.

 

love,

S.

bucket-list 2.0 & resolutions for the 5th semester

it’s the 1st of september already! can you believe it?

i have to confess, after these two awesome months of summer I spent 80% with my beloved family, friends and the bf, i’m excited for the new challenges this upcoming semester will bring about!

this semester, starting on tuesday, is gonna be a little different. It only lasts from September to December and contains all my last classes and exams within this Bachelor program.

Why so short? Well, the 5th semester is, technically speaking, the final semester. This is because the actual last semester (sem6), from January 2014 to May 2014, is supposed to be a full time internship. No classes or courses at the campus, the only occasion you come back for to the campus is to take the final Bachelor Exam in May.

I can’t quite believe I’m so far along already, to be honest here.

Consequently, these last couple of courses are happening from now to December, meaning right now is the time to give it all and fight. Additionally to the regular subjects and exams in this Semester, the first Bachelor Paper is to be written and handed in in November. yup, I said November. yes, I need to get going!;)

I’m glad to tell you that the internship-search-situation has pretty much settled by now, meaning I can cut back worrying and just wait and see. (relieved, here!)

okay, so what was my point again? 😉

I’m excited for this new and important Semester. I am ready to go.

This Semester, there’s no room for excuses, this one is gonna matter, so I’ll better make it count.

An Adventure

I don’t know if I already told you, but the chapter of my life starting right now is pretty much an adventure. Up until now, I’ve had my future, my “next steps“, at least roughly figured out. I knew the direction I was headed to and almost had a “plan”. At this moment, however, it’s different.

Yes, I know that the next steps are to complete this 5th Semester and then do an internship. But after that? It’s pretty much undiscovered territory! I cannot really plan ahead anymore and I admit, this freaks me out a little. But it also comes with the zest of an adventure. It’s all in the open from now on. Oh my! 

Know what I mean?

This strange, exciting and a little dangerous feeling that everything is possible and everything is new. All depends on my internship, yes. But I’m not sure what and who I wanna be yet, so I’m gonna find this out while I’m walking.

My Bucket list & resolutions for the indefinite period

As today is the 1st of September and the ultimate kick-off of this new chapter the little list-lover within me felt the urge to set some goals and wishes for the future. Although I don’t know exactly where life is gonna take me, I do know some things I wanna achieve and am curious about how and where I’m gonna be. So let me share my bucket list and some resolutions with you, from now on to an indefinite time!

• finish 5th semester w/o resits and with awesome grades

• be all organized

• see girlfriends regularly during semester, too

• ZEN a little;)

• finish 1st Bachelor paper well ahead in time

• be able to be proud of this Bachelor paper!

• reflect and question own thoughts & actions continuously – maybe by writing this blog!

• record album with Oh, I Taste The Queen

• eat tons of fruit & high carb, vegan meals

• work out about 3 times a week, each week

• upgrade wardrobe to make it more “business”-friendly – so mix business /w casual pieces!

• figure out where next apartment should be & how to finance it

• give my best at work (internship)

• build up network (career)

• figure out what to do next: do a master? longer/more internships? work for a while?

• have own, cozy apartment where having a cat/dog is allowed

• adopt a cat/dog

• get a hammock;)

• have balcony in apartment

• go on great vacation with the bf (financed by ourselves)

• be more financially independent to help parents

• see & spend quality time with family regularly

• call grandmas more often & give sth back

• write & record song(s) with the bf

• get back into drawing

• get new tattoo

• clean apartment regularly

so this is all i can think of right now! i think i’ll come back to this post & update it from time to time..maybe add more and hopefully cross stuff off the list!

i can only highly recommend having a bucket/goal list. it really improves focus and provides some guidance on your path. plus, crossing stuff off it is amazing! 🙂

i wish you a great day and all the best for this fall! you are very welcome to share your thoughts in the comments and stay tuned for my fall posts! think seasonal fall comfort food, halloween, my birthday, …haha;)

xoxo,

s.

alert: hello INSTAGRAM!

yup, i’m now one of you, instagram–mers!

i’m just getting started, but i would love you to follow me!

 

so, straight to the point, here’s the link: http://instagram.com/saskiagradwohl

pretty pretty please, put a smile on my face and hit the “follow”-button! 😀

 

tell me, are you doing instagram?

xo,

s.

 

WIWW – dress for success?

good morning & hello for a new WIWW – What I Wore Wednesday – Episode!

 

as mentioned in a couple of previous posts, i’m currently looking for an internship. you probably all know what this means: searching for suitable open positions for hours, writing and editing individually adapted application letters & CVs, lots of brainwork inside my head and, hopefully, a good number of job interviews!

 

so, yes, i’m glad to say that i got lucky with some of my applications and got invited to some interviews! so after my usual happy-dance it was not only time to think about how to verbally present myself effectively and research the companies, but also to figure out what to wear when walking into a job interview!

you know me, i always prepare myself as well as possible. and although i’m usually not that outfit-freakish, i know that you only get to make a first impression once.

i’ve spent quite some time on this awesome website, which i seriously recommend to all job-seekers out there, and learned that in most cases, an interviewer builds his/her opinion about you within the first 90 seconds. so what does count here? general charisma, facial expressions, body language and yes, the outfit!

maybe you remember my post about surface impressions i wrote right before my first day in university. the outfit i presented you there was actually the outfit i wore yesterday, to my very first real job interview and i believe i chose it well.

 

however, having one single business-suitable outfit won’t take you very far when interviewing for a job more than once and (hopefully) working full time in the future. you know i’m normally more the casual, grunge-ish kinda girl when it comes to outfits for the Uni or my leisure/band time. yessss.

not. enough. anymore!

so, i started yesterday to feed my wardrobe with some new, more business-friendly pieces!

 

 

i got this beautiful faux-leather* skirt from a shop in Vienna yesterday. I just love how it looks both classy and somehow edgy. combined with a light, shimmering white blouse this is totally great for more formal situations but also far from boring.

i like this kinda style so much that i’m considering to wear it also to more every-day life occasions, such as family meals or parties. or, what about wearing this on stage?

 

just think about what you could do to these kind of pieces just by adding different kind of accessories such as jewellery or shoes? think High Heels vs. DocMartens, a red classy clutch vs. a big shopper,… endless opportunities with a piece like this!

 

* ad) faux-leather: you all are well aware of me being vegan. i do not support any industry that exploits animals in any way. i do not buy leather products. i do, however, like the look and therefore am ok with buying an occasional fake-leather piece. every one has to decide on their own how to deal with this matter, this is simply my opinion.

 

hope i could inspire you a little bit with that!

wish you the best day,

 

xoxo

S.

…and summer is easy

 

 

good morning, dear blogosphere!

i just woke up to see that the weather has finally cooled down a little. I’ve never welcomed clouds & rain more I think.

this is gonna be a picture-heavy post, demonstrating the essence of most of my days right now!

cuz summer is easy, and so is this post.

 

wakey wakey, workerbees! my mornings usually start with a vanilla-soy-latte and a mail-checking session outside. this kinda gets my head working & i make sure i set my goals and appointments for the day. mmh i want this latte right now!

 

 

 

 

 after this, i’d probably get going with a short & intense workout session, preferably in the garden. i’m talking squats, push-ups, several crunch-variations, some ballet leg moves. but this depends on my mood!

after the workout i’d go take a nice, short shower and then reach for brekkie. usually, this is fresh, ripe fruit or, if i can afford it, a delicious smoothie/OJ like this. yup, i’d down this in about 4 minutes! 😉

 

with this stuff in my tummy i’ then, at the moment, start one of these two things: a.) study for the next exams or b.) continue my internship-hunt! yes, i’m searching for a place to intern in. this means lots of researching, writing & updating CVs, composing cover letters and so on. oh, and praying for a nice place, of course!

 

so when this “productive work phase” is done what i do really depends on various factors. usually i do something like the following:

have a skype date with my friend in Canada while holding my doggie-girl. harder than you think!

go to a music festival or somewhere else, as long as it’s outside! this pic was a small, chilled festival in a large apple garden.

…enjoy the sun, the company, the music…

or, get to the city to buy supplies (for my tummy). wanted to show u my fruit-shirt!;)

or spend some quality time /w the boyfriend. i just love these bracelets we got! be sure to visit etsy for stuff like these!

so then, when the evening has arrived, i’d probably go out with friends for some drinks or a movie. but if money’s short (like just now), i’d rather stay in. my fav staying in option is hanging at my boyfriend’s with my doggie:

 

 chill! 🙂

so, this is how a lot of my days currently look like.

now, i should get going with my workout and studying session! 🙂

wish you the best day!

 

xoxo, s.